This Mother’s Day was a tough one.  Tears as we listened to “You’ll Never Walk Alone”….

So…I thought instead of the usual syrupy “Happy Mother’s Day” stuff, I’d do things a little differently~~

In Honor of the Mothers of the kidnapping victims of Cleveland….the two mothers who never gave up…God Bless.  I can’t wrap my brain around this case–clearly, there were people sounding the alarm about something going on at that house.  The police even showed up once–only to knock and then walk away when no one answered.  The message this case is sending:  women don’t matter–or worse, they wanted to be there.  I’m just waiting for them to start pointing the finger at the victims–some already have started the “if they hadn’t done this, that wouldn’t have happened…”  While ignoring that domestic violence happens every day in the U.S. in blue collar households and professional households.  People with money.  People without money.  Those with college educations, and those with high school diplomas.  Makes no difference.

In this case and I suspect the Boston Bombers’ case, domestic violence played a key role. …and yet, it’s never singled out as the cause of violence.  And I also caution against making broad generalizations that the psychiatric profession is noted for–just because one comes from a home of domestic violence does not mean they will repeat it.  Another mystery to be solved is why some go on to perpetuate the violence, and others rise above it.

Related to this, I’ve been reading blog after blog of mothers who have lost custody of their children. It is heartbreaking.  And it’s damning of the U.S. court system that use Guardian Ad Litem’s testimony as golden, without ever examining their motives nor the actual qualifications, personal biases,  and time spent with the children whose lives they are about to destroy.  On top of all of this, parents are now charged a fee to see their children!!  This is outrageous.

Phyllis Chesler has written a book, Mothers on Trial that blows away the myth that mothers *always* get custody of children.  This is only true, she says, if the father doesn’t fight for custody.  If he does take the mother to court, he will win custody in most of the cases.  (I think I read 70% of the cases).   It’s especially true if the woman is uppity.  In five cases I had reviewed, the Guardian Ad Litem had awarded custody to the father in all five cases….even though there was undisputed abuse in two of the cases and as far as I could tell, no abuse nor neglect of care of the children on the mother’s part.  As with the blogs I read…even in cases of  a father molesting the kids, the mother was treated as the criminal and the father was awarded custody.

This has to stop.