Category Archives: women

He sent me flowers today…

by

A poem, author unknown:

“I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day.

We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.

I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any special day.

Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.

I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today, and it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day.

Last night he beat me up again, and it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave.

But I know he must be sorry. Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day.

It was the day of my funeral.

Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death.

If only I had gathered the courage and strength to leave him.

I would not have gotten flowers today”.
———————————————————-

Janay Rice

by

By now, you all have heard of Ray Rice knocking his then fiancee unconscious in an elevator…and the slap on the wrist by the NFL.  We’ll get to the NFL later… (meanwhile, Mike Ditka is worried about Ray Rice’s income….seriously.  Not concerned about Rice’s violence…just his paycheck.)

But for now, there are plenty of opinions out there–men who come to his defense and women whom have never been in an abusive relationship that don’t understand why Janay stayed.

And the Guardian’s Hannah Giorgis asks us not to feed an appetite for other people’s lurid trauma by watching the video of Ray assaulting Janay Rice, but to focus on her humanity and the humanity of other survivors of partner violence, to defend them from further victimization both from their abuser and from victim-blamers and tragedy spectators.

~~~~~~~

Yep.  There was a woman in Indiana whom was kidnapped and the Associated Press ran a story with all the lurid details of the method of bondage, etc.  I got that “ick” feeling of them wanting to titillate the readers who get off on that sort of thing.

And as far as the black thing–I think about what happened in Fort Wayne with the black man making comments about my body parts and my voice being sexy…and blocking my way into the building…he got the message somewhere that it was okay to do those things.  The other black men thought it was okay.  The black women that he had also intimidated and harassed just wanted to keep things quiet–don’t make any waves.  They, too, have gotten the message that they are less valuable and subject to whomever’s sexual advances or intimidation.  They most likely blame themselves for “asking for it”.

And just recently, a judge in Fort Wayne was called on his behavior when he suggested that a woman could be a great “phone sex operator”.   Why did they think this was acceptable?  Because our culture says it’s okay to describe women in sexual terms and see them only as sexual objects.

In this culture of violence and rape, women are still seen as possessions.  Women are still seen as second class–less than.  If she does assert herself, there are ten others trying to quiet her or take her down.  Uppity women are still seen as bitches who need to get laid.  You might recall the posts on Steubenville and others of women who tried to assert themselves or were assaulted while unable to give consent.

So it’s no surprise to me that Janay stayed and even married her abuser.

We have a culture that men feel they have a right to do as they please–whether it be to smack around their partner…or even kill her if she doesn’t do what he wants.  Eliot Rodger’s misogyny is the best example of that sense of entitlement.

And then we have the bullying culture that actually bullies those who stand up for women whom have been raped.

Don’t make any waves.

Don’t upset the status quo.

Don’t question why.

Don’t assert your right to be recognized as a human being.

Don’t ask to be respected when you have boobs and hips and vagina…

 

 

The face of minimum wage

by

Maria Fernandes died while sleeping in her car between work shifts.  She is the face of the minimum wage worker trying to make ends meet and have a little extra afterward.

 

 

(I’ve had a stupid migraine the past few days.  I thought I was going to go migraine-free this month. I started to get one last week, my usual time, but I stopped it with ibuprofen.  I was hoping that I had healed to the point that I could stop them with ibuprofen, which used to work for me.  But, alas…)

Happy Labor Day, Mom

by

Wow. what a great piece.

When I first saw the title, I thought it was going to be a piece on the unsung workforce of women who take care of the home and children…with nary an acknowledgement by law or wages…but I was pleasantly surprised that even though it was about a mother who works outside the home, it held such a great depth and context.

I disagree with the author’s assertion, however, that the education “reformers” don’t seem to grasp the hard-won battles women have had to fight for the same rights that men enjoyed without resistance….

…the “reformers” know EXACTLY what they are doing.  They know that the teacher’s unions have protected working women with equal pay for the same work performed as men teachers, with protection of being dismissed for asserting the same equal rights enjoyed by men such as being able to be married, have children, have reasonable work hours and good pay.  You have to remember who the “reformers” are and their indifference towards women, or worse, loathing of women.

(By a weird circumstance, I belonged briefly to the American Federation of Teachers and was amazed at their strength, unity, and benefits.    It was like nothing I had seen before. )

 

 

 

Condemning mothers

by

What are your first thoughts after reading this?  “What a terrible mother” “She should lose those kids”

Clearly, they can’t continue living in those conditions….but instead of taking her kids away, how about helping her clean out the place and getting her some help?  Clearly she is overwhelmed with five kids and too many dogs—

…and as usual, the story fails to ask….”where is the father?”  Why is he not helping out–financially, physically, emotionally?  Where were her family members before it got to this point? Is she making a living wage to be able to support herself and her family?

I’m not saying she doesn’t bear responsibility for what happened…but where is the support system?

 

 

Everything you (didn’t) want to know about Walmart practices

by

Here.

Note the blatant discrimination against women….paying them less than men in the same positions; pregnancy discrimination; not promoting them.

I try to avoid the place, but with limited access to other stores (that they elbowed out), it’s not easy.  They have destroyed the right to choose, basically, so that folks like myself that don’t agree with their labor practices have limited choices.

I have actually paid more for products at other stores in order to avoid them.  But I know that it is likely that those other options may be gone someday due to the Walmart octopus….but I’m not going down without a fight.  This is another part of doing unto others as you would wish done to you–I want to support stores that pay their workers fairly.

 

Sirota is back…

by

Woot.  

(hat tip Diane Ravitch)

A voice that was silenced by those proclaiming to be progressive and open-minded weren’t quite so much when put to the test.  It’s not hard to see why when you read this article blasting Hillary Clinton.  There’s a powerful push to get her into office, despite the coy “I haven’t decided” b.s. that she is spewing.  I’ve said it before, but I’m sick of Clintons and Bushes in the White House.  Time for a real change for a politician that actually speaks up for the “little people” who don’t have big lobbyists, big PACs, nor big money to influence Washington.

Spirituality and Rationality

by

(This blog is on spirituality, so if it’s not your thing…)

Dr. Carol Hand has one of the most stirring blogs on spirituality I’ve ever read.

I love, love, love, the Native American approach to spirituality–they don’t dictate to each other or complete strangers what they should believe or how they should worship. They worry more about their own spiritual path than others’.

When I was growing up, my belief was that the world could only know Peace if we were all Christians–hence the reason for missionaries and witnessing to others our beliefs.

It took my taking a class on religion in college to realize that despite what you might hear in the press or religious leaders, we aren’t that far apart in our beliefs.  As I’ve written about before, all religions have the eerily similar belief in treating others as you wish to be treated.  This was such a powerful discovery for me–as at this time, after my divorce and the turmoil that followed, I was questioning God’s existence.

Two things happened that brought me “back”–one is a dream I’ll keep private, and the other is my daughter going through a terrible time.  She made it through, although she still has “days” that I think are more related to the poison in her mouth (amalgams) than to anything else.

Anyway, Carol’s post highlights the Native American tradition of seeing women as connected directly to God by our ability to give life.  I love this.  The European tradition as seeing menstruation as “dirty” –something to be ashamed of, others see it as the blood that gives life to the growing baby.  As I wrote that, The Red Tent popped into my head.  Even though women were banished to the tent for menstruating, they had a wonderful camaraderie that is absent in our society today.    (Not only that, Big Pharma has developed a Pill to stop women from menstruating for three months (or more)…someone I knew was getting married and didn’t want to have her period on her wedding day….unbelievable.  God, how Big Pharma must hate women and their icky periods….)

Back on subject—

It does make sense to keep one’s visions to oneself–lest it create jealousy or judgment.  Wise.

This passage was powerful and reflected my own conclusions:

When I realize that the temptation to judge and compete with others is becoming too strong to resist, I look at the context and forces around me. Often I find that it’s time for me to change course, to be honest about what is my responsibility to do, and to simplify and refocus my life on what really matters on my path. I have a responsibility to do what I can in my thoughts and actions to end and prevent harm.  I have a responsibility to judge actions and their consequences, but I cannot judge or demonize others whose paths I can never know.

~~~~~~~~~

It is hard to resist those powerful urge to judge and compete with others…but if one truly follows the “do unto others..” it helps keep one on the right path.  After all, we can only control our own actions and reactions, not those of others.

Peace to you all.

 

Gulen Charters, Ohio, Indiana, and politicians lining their pockets

by

Diane Ravitch has this up on the apparently greased palms of Republican Cliff Rosenberger and how Gulen schools have flourished in Ohio.  The article states that the investigation includes Indiana, as well….

Meanwhile, I’m reading a press release of Governor Mike Pence taking his family to England…on a “jobs creation trip”.  The release I read noted that he is paying for his children’s portion of the trip…but it left off his wife, whom is also going.  They’ll be gone for two weeks.  Unbelievable.  What a snow job–does anybody actually believe this guy is going to create jobs by this trip?  How many hours do you think he’ll devote to schmoozing for jobs?  I’m betting a day.  Half a day.  An hour.  A few minutes on the elevator down to the pool..

This article states that it is funded by the Indiana Economic Development Foundation through private donations.  I want to know who the donors are and what exactly Pence is doing–I don’t trust the tea partier at all.  They are good about saying one thing and doing the exact opposite–such as government being “too big”–and then, as I noticed yesterday in yet another press release, Pence created four more positions in his office for people who are no doubt cronies of his.  So, how does one “shrink government” by creating more useless positions while eliminating important ones, such as child welfare workers?

So, I’m waiting to see the fallout of this investigation and its connection to Indiana.  Pence and his henchmen are trying to wrest away what little control Glenda Ritz, an official elected by the people of Indiana, has on the Dept of Education.

 

 

Teachers, the wage gap, and the nearly homeless

by

Diane Ravitch has a blog up on one of the teachers involved in the Vergara case.  Ms. McLaughlin had replied to the “witch hunt” charges that she was a bad teacher…made by a student who also said there were five bad teachers and only one during her education–the one that wanted revenge apparently for being let go.

As I read the comments, the one by Chi-Town Res made me cry:

Yeah, and just wait until he hits retirement age and realizes that teachers with no union protections like me are exploited terribly. We are very low paid (and often hourly workers), don’t make enough money to get by on, let alone to save, have no pensions and are expected to live on about $900 per month from Social Security when we retire.

I could go live in a ghetto, since I will officially retire next month, because I can’t afford to continue living where I’ve been (renting) for the past 15 years, but I have no money to move. (Yes, homeownership was never an option for me.) Anyway, that’s the kind of income that even poor people in the ghettos can’t survive on in my area.

The reality is that I’m in arrears on my rent due to a further decline in my already low income and a high increase in my rent. I have applied to many places but I’ve been unable to find additional work. SS won’t actually start paying me until mid-September, my job put limits on our income and wouldn’t give me work for July, and I don’t qualify for unemployment compensation. I won’t get paid my measly wage again until the end of August. My landlord will not wait to be paid, and anyway I won’t get paid enough money then to cover back rent. I’ve been fighting becoming homeless for about three years now but, at this point, I have no more resources or anyone to turn to for help, and absolutely no one cares. So I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will lose everything I own and be put out on the street and homeless before the fall. The only thing that could save my life now would be winning the lottery, but that is an intolerable hope.

The truth is that I could never afford to really stop working either, but SS has a limit on the amount of income I can earn. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. No one fully appreciates the “I’m living on a fixed income” cries, because the elderly are not revered in our society. No wonder the suicide rate for seniors is high.

As problematic as unions can be, not valuing the protections that unions provide workers is extremely short sighted.

~~~~~~~~~~

Also noted in the comments was that one of the plaintiff’s lawyers was Ted Olson, who ended the vote recount and handed George W. Bush the presidency, against the American public’s wishes.  Blood is on his hands, as well, for the wars and the economic mess Bush left us in.

Be sure to click on the link for Diane’s original post on Ms. McLaughlin.  Really stunning to see how she is “witch-hunted” by those with their own agendas.  She seems to be an outstanding person with true caring about her students, as a good teacher needs to be.

From the link:

“Indeed, this whole Vergara trial was like something out of Mao’s “Cultural Revolution” in China during the 1960′s. For those not acquainted with this, here’s primer: zealous students, under party leaders’ directions, would persecute their teachers. Kids would get their jollies as they put their teachers on a stage, put dunce caps on them, then screamed at them while forcing their teachers to bow their heads, kneel down, and confess their “crimes” and on and on…

These kids—appointed and empowered as “Red Guards” by Mao’s henchmen— would parade their former teachers through the streets…

~~~~~~~~~

Diane has also put up a link to a short film clip on the red army of children that illustrates the terrible time.

(A side note~I got this weird message that Diane Ravitch’s site was “untrusted”.  Say what??  It’s on a wordpress platform…why would I get that message?  Is someone trying to interfere with the traffic to her site??)