Category Archives: mothers

Israel launched Air Strike Against Syria

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You know, I have been wondering about all the important news out there that has been happening while they’ve been broadcasting the Zimmerman trial nonstop….

It’s not that I don’t think it is important–it is….but it does not need 16 hour coverage five days a week!

And I think the minute Zimmerman grabbed his gun and uttered the words “I’m sick of these punks getting away…” he met the legal standard of manslaughter, perhaps even murder.  I hedge on that because murder is premeditation–you decided you were going to kill your spouse when you found out they were cheating on  you.  This, on the other hand, sounds more like manslaughter–you weren’t intending on killing someone, but nevertheless, you did.

Self-defense is the only reason for someone to be set free.  I don’t believe in my heart that Zimmerman feared for his life.  Again, the words “I’m sick of these punks getting away” is an aggressive stance, not one of fear.

So…what’s been happening?  This, for one.  Happened a week ago!

More on the abortion debate in Texas.  I agree with limiting it to 20 weeks, even twelve weeks, but the rest is draconian and meant to interfere with a woman’s right to an abortion in that time frame.

Good for you, Suri

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Suri Cruise gave the stalkerazzi a piece of her mind.  Good for you, Suri.  And good for your mother raising you to believe in yourself and your right to privacy.

…and don’t mind the “bitch” word–you’ll hear that word when you stand up for yourself, as you have now experienced.  Embrace the word–it becomes a word of power once you realize it means you aren’t a doormat and you have set your boundaries.  Bravo.

And the Kardashians? Meh.  You can’t have a TV show exposing your every move and then claim you want privacy.  It messes with the  mind.

 

Napolitano leaving

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Janet Napolitano is leaving the Dept. of Hysterical Security to head up….wait for it…the University of California, including Berkeley.…

While reading the article, I again ask myself, “why is one person head over natural disasters, the CDC,  as well as security?”

Abortion

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This is such a hard subject for me, because I’ve been from one extreme to the other with my feelings on it.  And feminists marginalize those women who believe in equality but have reservations about abortion.  It’s probably one of the biggest reasons that the women’s movement lost steam in the 70s.

When I was younger, before I had my children, I thought abortion was okay.  But when I had my children, I thought that it was wrong.  But I have seen the horrible picture of the woman who was so desperate that she had her boyfriend use a coat hangar on her to abort her pregnancy.  She died of an embolism.  I don’t want us to go back to that, but at the same time, I feel that there needs to be restrictions.   The heart starts beating at six weeks.

I learned something from Bill Moyers’  book published in the 80s–it stated that Europe is not as lenient about abortion as America is.  This shocked me–thinking that Europe has always been more open and “liberal’ about stuff, I presumed that they were of the mind that a woman could have an abortion at any time. Nope.  Here is a list of the countries and their abortion policy.  Most of them cut off abortion at 12 weeks, even for rape.  They only make exceptions for the physical and mental health of the mother, but even then, there are some cut-off dates.  The book stressed that the Europeans have a much more supportive structure in that they educate women and men on contraceptives.  And if a woman has the baby, she is supported the first five years of life.  Amazing, isn’t it??

In the not too distant past, women were not informed on how to prevent a pregnancy (Comstock laws) .  They  were having five and six kids and desperate not to have another when they became pregnant again.  They were too poor and uneducated to provide for the children they did have….what were they to do?

We’ve had politicians who want to deny women the means to prevent pregnancy, but then they also want to deny them abortion.  It makes absolutely no sense.  And when those children arrive, they will deny them food stamps and decent housing.

Educating women  and men is key.

Providing safe contraceptives is also key.  (Despite the popular idea that birth control pills are safe, there are many, many problems with them.  I have read that gluten intolerance is linked to them, but now can’t find the reference.  )

Spermicidal foam had been found to have mercury in it.   More here on other issues with it.  As far as I know, sponges are safe, but since they also contain N-9  there are issues.

Some women use the natural sea sponge for menstruation as well as a contraceptive.   I had heard that the ladies of days past used the sea sponges.

Here’s a report from a lady who had issues with chemically treated sponges.  On another site, a poster said she had heard that honey was a natural spermicide.  Interesting.  Here’s another site that had a brand of spermicide that is non-chemical.  It’s made in the UK, however, and I don’t know whether it’s available here.  I looked on their website, and it says there is an extra charge for shipping outside of Europe.  If one is interested, probably best to contact them and ask.

So…a complicated subject with emotions running high and no quick, easy answers.

It’s not easy for women to prevent a pregnancy in a safe way.  Why is that?

 

 

Congress to the hungry:

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Eat Sh*t.  (Yeah, I know, I’ve said it before, but it speaks so well of the contempt of the poor).  As they debate the Farm Bill, once again they target the vulnerable and less able to fight back:  the food stamp recipients….giving them even less money for food that they can’t afford now…

I was watching CSPAN this morning with Rosa Delauro who is adamant on keeping the food stamp funds as is…and targeting the fraud in other areas that nobody speaks about.  You never hear the so-called conservatives, who love to kick the poor when they’re down, talk about this.   They try to categorize the Food Stamp program as full of fraud and waste….but never quite get around to putting facts out there.  Ronald Reagan started the “welfare queen” lie by taking a true story (a woman on welfare arrived to pick up her food stamps when they were still paper, in a Cadillac.  What Reagan and his ilk failed to report was that the woman was being given a ride by a wealthy lady so she could pick up her stamps.  Nice way to skew public perception to hate these lazy good-for-nothings that are driving around in luxury vehicles../snark.)  Good on Rosa when a woman caller called in spewing the conservative talking points that there was massive fraud and waste in the program.  A man also called in saying, “I don’t want to see anybody starve, but there are other ways for them to get food.  You have to cut these programs.”  Yeah, he doesn’t want to see people starving, so they best do it behind closed doors to soothe his conscience.

From the article:

Government audits and court records show hundreds of millions of dollars in losses due to fraud in a variety of farm programs, including crop insurance and subsidies that help agribusinesses promote their products abroad. The rate of food stamp fraud, on the other hand, has declined sharply in recent years, federal data shows, and now accounts for 1 percent of the $760 billion program, or $760 million a year.

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It would be damn near impossible to commit fraud with the food stamp program.  (Note that the error rate is at 3 percent.  3 % !! ) You must give them employment information, bank statements, rent information, number in household, etc., and you are checked up on.  And if they see anything that doesn’t sound right to them, they will call you and question it.

For instance, when I told them how little I made when in FW, they were questioning me on how I could make it on that low amount.  I told them that I washed my clothes in the tub (with the exception of once a month washing my jeans and towels in the washing machines); I cut my own hair (with sometimes hilarious results); went without deodorant except for important things like job interviews; washed my hair every other day, even though it needs it every day especially in the hot weather; I walked nearly everywhere so I didn’t use gas;  I brush my teeth with baking soda,  I count the number of squares of toilet paper I use, and other things like using cloth pads (but I didn’t tell them that as it’s really none of their business).

Everything that I needed (thyroid and other supplements) my son helped pay for.  I am actually quite proud of myself for handling this as I have–this isn’t how I was raised and it’s been a learning experience.

A caller called in who said she was a former food stamp recipient but now has a college degree and is working.  But, alas, she says now that the program should be cut.  Hello?  It never ceases to amaze me how those who have made it forget how difficult it was and lose their empathy for those in that position. (As a side note:  it also never ceases to amaze me how quick conservatives are to take money for themselves at taxpayer expense, but still have the nerve to deny people something as basic as FOOD.)

And I have a college education, but look where I am now….done in by stupid amalgams put in my mouth that made me ill, and wages that stagnated (otherwise, I might have been able to keep from losing my home and weathered the storm until I got well…perhaps not, but it would have been worth the shot.)

They mentioned on CSPAN that most folks on food stamps are disabled.  A man in the building I used to live in said he only gets $16 per month in food stamps.  He’s in a wheelchair.    Others on disability are not living it up.  You can’t buy cigarettes and alcohol on food stamps.  You also can’t buy toilet paper, soap,shampoo, trash bags, and other necessities.  Some people were using the plastic grocery bags for their trash in my building…much to the disdain of the management (throwing them down the trash shoot created mega problems).

Also mentioned in the CSPAN program is the fact that good ole Teflon Bill Clinton had changed the Food Stamp program drastically…while signing away jobs per NAFTA….Reagan would have been sooo proud.  It wasn’t until 2008 that they had addressed it again.

This whole debate is nonsensical.  No one with a shred of conscience can seriously say that denying people a basic need such as food is something that “has to” be done…especially when there is so much corporate welfare out there and a bloated defense department.  (OMG, did she really say cut the defense dept?  Watch out for drones, dear…)

Worldwide Monsanto Protest

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There’s a worldwide protest against Monsanto this Saturday.  Info here. You’ll need to scroll down to find your spot in the U.S.

(hat tip to commondreams.org)

This is so inspiring….people are waking up to the monster of genetically modified organisms.

Angelina Jolie

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Has this at the New York Times on having a double mastectomy.  First, I want to say that I hope she is doing well and on her way to healing and recovery.  It must have been a difficult decision to make.

My grandmother died of breast cancer.  There is a lot of cancer in my family.   But I would not make the same choice as Angelina has done, even if I knew that I had the “breast cancer gene”.  There are too many unknowns about genes and their impact on disease.  As I have posted about before, there are factors about genes and the expression of their purpose that is *still* not understood by scientists.

More here on genes and the nutrition of the mother. Very interesting.  The usual focus is treating the problem after it occurs (or in Angelina’s case, before it occurs, but with drastic measures)…instead of  turning the focus to the toxic soup we’re living in that is the root cause of the disease.   Also, it does not focus on the understanding that diet of organic fruits and vegetables are key to good health and allowing the body to do what it miraculously does:  fight disease.

Why is that so hard to do?

Why can’t we be more proactive in trying to eliminate the causes instead of allowing it?

 

 

In Honor of Mothers…

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This Mother’s Day was a tough one.  Tears as we listened to “You’ll Never Walk Alone”….

So…I thought instead of the usual syrupy “Happy Mother’s Day” stuff, I’d do things a little differently~~

In Honor of the Mothers of the kidnapping victims of Cleveland….the two mothers who never gave up…God Bless.  I can’t wrap my brain around this case–clearly, there were people sounding the alarm about something going on at that house.  The police even showed up once–only to knock and then walk away when no one answered.  The message this case is sending:  women don’t matter–or worse, they wanted to be there.  I’m just waiting for them to start pointing the finger at the victims–some already have started the “if they hadn’t done this, that wouldn’t have happened…”  While ignoring that domestic violence happens every day in the U.S. in blue collar households and professional households.  People with money.  People without money.  Those with college educations, and those with high school diplomas.  Makes no difference.

In this case and I suspect the Boston Bombers’ case, domestic violence played a key role. …and yet, it’s never singled out as the cause of violence.  And I also caution against making broad generalizations that the psychiatric profession is noted for–just because one comes from a home of domestic violence does not mean they will repeat it.  Another mystery to be solved is why some go on to perpetuate the violence, and others rise above it.

Related to this, I’ve been reading blog after blog of mothers who have lost custody of their children. It is heartbreaking.  And it’s damning of the U.S. court system that use Guardian Ad Litem’s testimony as golden, without ever examining their motives nor the actual qualifications, personal biases,  and time spent with the children whose lives they are about to destroy.  On top of all of this, parents are now charged a fee to see their children!!  This is outrageous.

Phyllis Chesler has written a book, Mothers on Trial that blows away the myth that mothers *always* get custody of children.  This is only true, she says, if the father doesn’t fight for custody.  If he does take the mother to court, he will win custody in most of the cases.  (I think I read 70% of the cases).   It’s especially true if the woman is uppity.  In five cases I had reviewed, the Guardian Ad Litem had awarded custody to the father in all five cases….even though there was undisputed abuse in two of the cases and as far as I could tell, no abuse nor neglect of care of the children on the mother’s part.  As with the blogs I read…even in cases of  a father molesting the kids, the mother was treated as the criminal and the father was awarded custody.

This has to stop.

Domestic violence mirrors war

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I swear that I did not see this before making my previous comment on the connection between domestic violence and war.  Wow, what a timely article.

From the article:

Some 3,073 people were killed in the terrorist attacks on the United States on 9/11. Between that day and June 6, 2012, 6,488 US soldiers were killed in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan, bringing the death toll for America’s war on terror at home and abroad to 9,561. During the same period, 11,766 women were murdered in the United States by their husbands or boyfriends, both military and civilian. The greater number of women killed here at home is a measure of the scope and the furious intensity of the war against women, a war that threatens to continue long after the misconceived war on terror is history.

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On the photos taken of the violence at home:

The photos are remarkable because the photographer is very good and the subject of her attention is so rarely caught on camera. Unlike warfare covered in Iraq and Afghanistan by embedded combat photographers, wife torture takes place mostly behind closed doors, unannounced and unrecorded.

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An excellent point–because in Communications, the Vietnam War is known as the media war —a war that was lost because of the diligence of the press–they brought the war home every night on the nightly news.  People could see with their own eyes what was happening–politicians in Washington could not whitewash it.  The violence we were doing to others could not be denied.  The thought of a photographer taking photos while someone commits domestic violence makes my stomach turn…and at the same time, I’m thinking “is this what it takes to make it *real*….???”  Do the people have to see photos of women beaten to a pulp on the nightly news, every night to grasp how horrible this is?

Here’s another report on domestic violence in Africa following war.  Does the war cause domestic violence or is it a cycle repeating itself?

 

 

Pope washes feet

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Pope Francis washes the feet of inmates of a juvenile detention facility.

When I heard this story over the weekend, I was moved by it.  Of course, it is a symbolic gesture that requires change within the church…

Some have said that there is new hope with the folks who believed Vatican II was the beginning of reform in the church….but were sadly disappointed.

When younger, I was asked to participate in a woman’s forum on Vatican II.  There was just a handful of we women.  When the discussion turned to birth control, I stated that I thought the church should embrace the modern methods of birth control.  (It’s pretty much already in practice by most Catholic women that I knew, so it was merely a blessing by the church.)

Well….that was quickly shot down by the nun that was present.

I wasn’t asked back for my thoughts on women in the priesthood. Ha.  Nor was I asked about my thoughts on women as equals who had more of a purpose in life than just baby machines.  Not trying to devalue that, mind you, as I value that aspect of being a woman–being a mother is the best thing that happened to me, but it was not the only part of me to offer to the world. The church’s stance against feminism speaks to the mindset.  Not that feminists have all the answers, but they offer a different point of view than the traditional that expands one’s thoughts beyond the male mindset of the church.

We get back to the balance needed in the world today–valuing masculine over feminine, valuing culture over nature…when a balance is needed between the two.

It’s good than Pope Francis has taken this step and has asked for Peace.  It is also good that he values the environment–as nature is seen as feminine (Native Americans) and by that standard, our trashing of the environment speaks volumes on our views of the feminine.

Here’s to hope.