Category Archives: bullying

Blaming the victim

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This is just too, too much.  And all too common.

I mean, really, this line of questioning is just soooo over the top: (from the link to the Daily Tar Heel)

“The woman student said to me, ‘Landen, as a woman, I know that if that had happened to me, I would’ve broken up with him the first time it happened. Will you explain to me why you didn’t?’” she said.

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WTH?  She *must* be lying because she stayed with him after the first time it happened.  And using her depression and suicide attempt–manifestations of the abuse–is totally disgusting.  And to top it all off, they give confidential details to her parents!  And they’re claiming that these folks received training….?  Seriously?  Well, now, methinks that training was…well…worthless…probably based on Freudian concepts of women and sex .  /snark

(In the comments section of the common dreams link, the first comment is just priceless:

saskatchistani •

Ms. Gambill is probably happy she doesn’t live in one of those oppressive Muslim countries.

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Domestic violence victims, whether they be abused sexually, or physically (with fists) or verbally will NOT likely leave after the first time the abuse happens.  As I posted here, he will say “I’m sorry.  I love you baby, I’d never want to hurt you. It will never.happen.again.”  And she’s hooked back in.  This is what they call the “honeymoon period” where they will get along great and everything seems like it is going well.

…until the next time where she asserts herself and he again abuses her to control her.

It is inexcusable that this “court” was abusing the victim all over again, which is what the question above is–it’s not about trying to find out what happened–it’s about assigning blame.

And it’s ALWAYS the woman’s fault.  She made him do it.  She was uppity.  She didn’t cook the meal right, or clean the house right or make love to him enough times that week…whatever the excuse is…

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Along those lines is the Pestorius case.  He beat her with a bat before he shot her. There was one report of another former girlfriend who was glad to get away from Pistorius because of his abuse.  But you didn’t hear that from the news networks.  ABC News was worse than most with a *cough* report that put Pistorius in the best possible light–highlighting another former girlfriend who said he was great.  It was so lopsided I sat there in stunned disbelief.  It never brought up the fact that if Pistorius had to have taken the time to put on his prosthetics, he would have had time to see that his girlfriend was no longer in the bed…wouldn’t that be a signal that she was the one in the bathroom?

And what have I heard from the networks now that this new information about him beating her?  Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

See…if you’re a famous athlete, you can get away with murder, folks.  Just ask O.J. Simpson.

If you have nothing to hide…

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common dreams has this up on the Obama Administration continuing to not enlighten us.  This is such a dangerous precedent–our democracy is based on many checks and balances to keep any one person from having too much power.  As the saying goes, power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

It’s just mindboggling that American citizens are having their right to privacy being stripped away — being “guilty” before being proven innocent — but those in positions of power are increasingly unaccountable towards those same Americans.

 

Farmers protests

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I missed this when it was first published.  The family farm is in danger of being run over by not only Monsanto, but the Too Big To Fail corporate farms.  God help us.

The rightwing radio nooz casters mentioned the Indiana farmer with the case before the Supreme Court against Monsanto.  Vernon Bowman was portrayed as a greedy farmer who tried to get away with “stealing” Monsanto technology without paying for it.  I was just stunned.

More farmer protests here.

And British farmers’ action.

Protests in Poland.

And in India–farmers protesting pipelines.

In Canada.

Taiwan.

And here is a piece of history--farmers protesting the 1977 Food Bill–when the blizzard struck.

From the last link:

The protesters stayed, camped out on the Washington Mall. During that time a blizzard hit the city with 20-inches of snow. Farmers used their tractors to help dig out the city. Some tractors transported doctors and nurses to hospitals. AAM women even cooked and cleaned in hospitals when other staff couldn’t make it in.

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This from Occupy Monsanto. Stone Soup Day April 8, 2013.

 

Selling of the war

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Rachel Maddow has a special out on the selling of the Iraq War.  Unfortunately, I’m at a computer with no sound today, so I can’t listen to this piece.  I hope that she holds Hillary Rodham Clinton accountable, and the other dems who were all too happy to go along with the charade.

Speaking of the airwaves…

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commondreams has this up on the *cough* reporting of the Iraq war…or I should say, the blind acceptance of the “facts” without a hint of healthy cynicism and questioning authority that the serious situation required.

FAIR’s worst moments in journalism.

Last night on CBS, they had a story of an Afghan youth who could not play a musical instrument because the Taliban had outlawed any music that was not religious.  It’s great that he is part of a musical troupe but in no way does it justify us going to war.  I’m sorry that probably sounds cold, but I have to think —how many innocent people have died so this kid could play a musical instrument?  Why does America have to spend billions of dollars policing another country?  Of course, there was no mention of the oil in Afghanistan…

Because it’s better to be mean and slim…

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…than fat and…well, fat and anything else…

Seriously, if you can’t look beyond a person’s physical appearance to see their true nature and humanity, then there’s nothing I can say to help you…

A story on the heartless remarks.

I am soooo sick of the attack on women’s appearance.   I have a sibling who is big, and she suffers injustices all the time from people who don’t even know her.  She is the sweetest person who would give you the shirt off her back, and for people to judge her on her size alone is shallow and contemptible.

I was thinking about this and how it seems that it’s become part of the bullying culture that is now the U.S. and I was asking myself “why”?

Well, with judgment shows like “Survivor” and “Weakest Link” and other garbage masquerading as entertainment, one doesn’t have to look too far as to why we’re so much more judgmental of each other.  Anyone who doesn’t fit the “perfect” model is to be judged, scorned, ridiculed, and disposed of in short order.  Because the person’s value isn’t in their humanity, but in how much they can gain for themselves…..

It isn’t about seeing the positives a person has and what gifts they bring.  It’s not about how each person has a gift to give, but about picking the “perfect one” who we raise up above the rest…

…and life just isn’t like that.

And I love what Gov. Chris Christie did the other night on Letterman.  What a great way to put it back into Letterman’s lap–very funny.  (and this is coming from someone who doesn’t agree with Christie on public/private/charter schools).(Personally, I do think he should cut out the gluten–probably has gluten intolerance, too, but that’s just me.  Also, someone needs to tell him about the cholesterol myth–that the studies linking high cholesterol were flawed, because he believes the myth that if his cholesterol is okay, then he’s healthy.)

Also, nothing is stated about the effects on GMO’s and the obesity rise in the U.S.

This cannot be stated enough.  Being fat does not mean you’re automatically unhealthy.

If I could live to be 100 by not eating gluten-free donuts (or cakes or bacon or whatever treat they say is bad for you)….but I could only live to 70 eating those things, I’d take the 70 and call it a good life.  I mean, what’s the point if I’m going to live to be 100 but can’t enjoy food?? Screw that.

And, lastly, let’s remember Jim Fixx.  He’s the guy that was an avid jogger and he died of a heart attack while running.  And you know what?  That is how I want to go out–doing something besides rocking in a chair or lying in a hospital bed  or worse, a nursing home bed, waiting to die.  People say “oh my!” when they hear of someone who was skydiving and died, but that’s what I would want to be doing.  Criminy, it’s not life if you’re home sitting on your arse, watching the world go by.

And while I’m on the heart attack thing–for the longest time the medical profession ignored the symptoms of heart attack in women “because they just didn’t get them”.  Then they began to discover that women were having heart attacks, but were not diagnosed because of doctor’s ignorance and prejudice.  Some women were autopsied and it was discovered they had had several heart attacks in their lifetime.  Now I hear that things have changed, and women are being diagnosed now, as their symptoms are different.  The medical profession has hopefully realized that women are different than men!

…because God despises women….

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Sarah Silverman’s sister was detained for…brandishing a gun? Nope. Threatening someone with a knife? Nope.  Throwing bricks through windows? Nope.

She wanted to pray.

…she wanted to be recognized as her brother’s equal in the eyes of God by praying at the holy site.

Good on the men whom have supported them, too.  And I even have to give Netanyahu a hat tip for his trying to find a way to allow the non-Orthodox women to pray there. At least, I hope that he is sincere in his speech, but one never knows.

A Man’s View

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Continuing along the thoughts on Friday’s blog~~~

I don’t mind telling you that this blog brought tears to my eyes. Really stunning to read such honesty and depth.  And he’s not gay! (meaning that, as Patrick states, most gay guys “get” women and their perspective, but straight guys, especially straight white guys don’t.)

From the interview:

Growing up in my house, feminism was actually a positive word. My mother, who is a strong woman, has always identified as a feminist. Despite this fact, she found herself being mistreated by my father. This just goes to show that even strong women — even feminist-identified women — can find themselves involved with men who treat them badly.

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This was so powerful…because in the finger-pointing department, when blame is being handed out, it’s always the woman’s fault if she is mistreated.

This, too, was powerful:

Seeing the way she was treated, and experiencing mistreatment myself, showed me that boys who grow up in violent households do not have to follow the path of the abuser. Instead, we can follow another path — the path of empathy for our mother, and that we can become allies in the struggle for women’s equality, rather than just another violent enforcer of male supremacy.

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This is the thing that is so hard to understand:  why do some men recognize what was done to them and their mothers, but then go on to abuse others?  Why do some choose that path and others fight against it?

And this reinforces my thoughts on a previous blog on how some folks are abused but do not go on to continue the abuse.  I’m thinking there are more out there than is being acknowledged, because they aren’t the ones being arrested for committing acts of cruelty…they are the ones quietly living their lives without repeating the abuse…

…but that also doesn’t mean that all of those committing acts of cruelty are being dealt with by society…such as men who beat their mates, but the mates refuse to press charges (or never call police to report it.)

Further down the post, Patrick goes into what defines feminism–and how women themselves cannot agree on the definition. I know that I don’t.  As I’ve posted before, I believe in equality, but I don’t think abortions should be performed after six weeks’ gestation.  But feminists don’t see it that way–they feel a woman should be able to have an abortion any time she wants it–right up until birth.  I can’t in good conscience agree with that thinking.  In the feminist world, that automatically excludes me from being called a feminist.  This point of view wasn’t easy to come by, either, as I have seen the photo of the woman dead on a hotel room floor with a hangar protruding from her vagina.  I don’t want to see women in such desperate circumstances that they resort to that–it is much better to have safe, reliable contraceptives available to her. (Yes, men should be responsible for contraception, too, but since she is the one who will be most impacted by a pregnancy, and he could be unreliable, she needs to take responsibility for her own sake.)

Feminists in the 70s were so anti-homemaking that women who chose this route were treated as if they were mindless dummies.

It’s an odd circumstance that things that defined us as women–the home, childbirth and raising children, became so hated.  It’s as if they wanted us to become equal by embracing the stereotyped attributes of men.

In other words, we could only be thought of as valuable and therefore equal….if we became men…

…and the unintended consequences of that is the world tilted even more towards the masculine and diminished the feminine.

What we need to right the world is to once again embrace the feminine as valuable–to recognize that one can be soft as well as strong and that those two attributes don’t have to be mutually exclusive.  That we can prop each other up when one is feeling weak, instead of attacking.  That it’s okay for women to have an opinion different than a man’s and it’s just as valid and valuable. That taking care of the Earth is the feminine that needs to be honored.

There’s more to write, but perhaps for another day.  I’m out of time.